My husband and I had been talking for over a year about moving to the West Coast from Chicago when an opportunity presented itself at the right time. My husband was tired of his job as a restaurant manager and had always wanted to become a residence hall director on a college campus, and as soon as he started looking at jobs out west, he found and landed a hall director job perfectly suited for him.
So I quit my job, we packed up a moving truck, and we spent five days driving across the country. You can find my
tips for moving across the country on my blog.
We've now been here almost three months, and Jess asked me to talk about getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, and discovering new places in our new city, which for the purposes of my semi-anonymous blog I call Whoville.
I'll be honest that some things are working in my favor here, more so than when we were starting out our married life in Chicago. Being on a college campus again means a built-in community, both with people somewhat younger than us (our residents) and with those around our age and older (the other hall directors). Also, I've been able to take my time in finding a new job out here, so I've actually had time to get out and explore Whoville.
But even before we left Chicago, I had started to make more of an effort to get out and meet new people, something that's tough for a natural introvert and homebody like myself. I was able to bring those same skills to Whoville, where I've surprised even myself at how much I've been out and about these past few months. I'll share with you a few of the approaches I've taken to better connect with the Whoville community, so that whether you're new to an area or just want to break out of your shell a bit more, you can have some concrete steps for making it happen.
Learn the public transportation system
I refuse to drive in any city, both because of the stress of being surrounded by other cars and pedestrians and because of the cost (and difficulty) of parking. But I'll admit that public transportation makes me nervous -- I hate not knowing where to pay, where to stick my card, where to stand, etc. What I've come to accept, though, is that the first time I use any kind of public transportation, I'm going to look like a clueless idiot and probably irritate some people with my ignorance. After that, I'll have a better idea what to do, and before long, I'll be a pro who sighs and rolls my eyes at those clueless idiots using the train or bus for the first time. My advice if you live somewhere with public transit: Accept that ignorance and embarrassment the very first time is a small price to pay for getting access to a system that can take you wherever you want to go.
Meetup.com and Grubwithus.com
I never really got into Meetup when we were in Chicago because we lived out in the suburbs where there were rarely any events going on, and I hated staying late in the city after work and having to take a super-late train home. However, it's been a fantastic resource for me here in Whoville. You join groups that match your interests or demographics (e.g., I'm in one for women in their 20s and 30s), and then you can opt to receive an e-mail whenever one of your groups schedules a new event. Not only do you have the chance to meet new people who have something in common with you, but it gives you a reason to check out new places in the city, whether it's a museum, a park, or a restaurant.
Speaking of restaurants, Grubwithus is one way I started meeting new people in Chicago. (It's not in every city yet, but they're constantly expanding.) Someone organizes a meal, you pay a set price ahead of time (including tax and tip), and then you simply show up, present your ticket, and enjoy a meal with people you've never met before. I love it because it provides an organized environment in which to meet and talk with people with a set endpoint (the end of the meal), as well as a chance to possibly try out a new restaurant. Meals are family style or provide a choice from among a few entrees, and if you order drinks you'll get an individual bill at the end of the meal.
I found out about Grubwithus from Rachel at
MWF Seeking BFF on her post about
friendmaking services, which has several more options (some are Chicago only), and I'm sure there are even more of these types of sites out there, possibly some specific to your city!
Volunteer
One great and easy way I've met new people here is through volunteering. Most of the volunteer opportunities I've done have actually been Meetup.com events, though there are many different ways to get involved in volunteering. One that I attend regularly is volunteering at the local food bank, where you sit around these giant tubs of donated food with a few other people and bag or box up the food while chatting with the other people at your tub. It doesn't have to be an ongoing commitment, though -- even volunteering to work at a one-day local event can be an opportunity to meet new people. A great site for finding volunteer opportunities in your local area is
volunteermatch.org.
Find professional contacts using LinkedIn
This is a tip I got from Ramit Sethi at
IWillTeachYoutoBeRich.com. Since I've been job-seeking, this has been especially important for me, but it's also a way to make new professional contacts even if you're currently working full time. Ramit suggests being introduced by a mutual contact where possible, but the vast majority of contacts I've made have been completely cold, and it hasn't been a problem. Here's what I do: Go on LinkedIn and search for job titles similar to what I'm looking for or for organizations I'm interested in. Find someone I want to talk to who works near where I live. Go on the organization's website and find the person's e-mail address. Send them a short e-mail saying that I'm new in town, I worked in such-and-such field in Chicago, and I'm interested in the work they're doing. Would they be willing to meet with me over coffee to have a short chat about their work?
So far I've only had
one person not respond -- everyone else has responded enthusiastically, made time for me, and given me incredibly valuable information about getting plugged into the right networks, professional organizations, etc. in the area, as well as suggesting other people to talk to. People to whom I was a complete stranger the day before are offering to look out for job openings for me and recommend me to their colleagues. It might feel awkward to send an e-mail to some random person you've never met, but believe me, it works amazingly well.
Those are my tips for meeting new people and checking out new places in your city. What tips do you have?
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Jessica blogs at
Faith Permeating Life, where you're invited to join discussions about big issues like on marriage, faith, sex, and happiness. You can also find her as
keepbabbling on Twitter.
Thank you Jessica for sharing you awesome advice!!
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